The newest update from my mother regarding their situation! Please read and share 🙏 Thank you!❤️
” Progress continues, but perhaps not as fast as I want it. The landlord is very kind changing the one bedroom apartment in to a two bedroom putting a wall up in the kitchen making it smaller and no dining area, but I really want Turid to have her own space! I don’t mind sharing with Patric, the space I need is very small, basically a bed and I’m fine! For now we share a bigger bed that was given to us, but I hope to get a smaller one in the future so the bed doesn’t take up too much of his playing area, and hopefully we’ll find him a nice bunk bed too.
Cooking is a bit tricky since we don’t have all the kitchen tools needed, but with some planning it’s manageble. Cleaning is more tricky since we don’t have a vacuum cleaner, but everything will come eventually!
The social services turned my complaint down and I’m still not getting any financial aid or any kind of support from them! They don’t even know that we managed to find an apartment in the last minute, and you would think at least a phone call would be expected from them, since they were concerned enough to have a meeting with us to see if they could take my children or not (explaining to my 7 year old son that we were not there to get help with a new home, just to see if I am a good mother!?!?) but nothing!!! So I am still very much alone in this and don’t believe I will get any help from them ever… So I still have to rely on your good will to help and still beg to be able to stay in this small but cozy home.
The children’s health is still very much an issue that worries me a lot! Their health hasn’t improved as much as I thought, and I fear that the neurological impact might take longer to heal from… As of now we still take it one day at the time and just try to make the best out of it, but it’s hard when they are in pain and really suffer and there is nothing I can do but to hold them and wipe their tears, some days several times. We are looking for some MD whom is a specialist on mold issues and it’s severe impact on the body and brain, hopefully we’ll find someone soon so my children will get the help they need! Now it’s just a lot of testings and exrays to rule out what ever they can think of!
It looks like I found a solicitor, finally! It will be expensive, 2000kr/hour, but as the process proceeds in court I will only have to pay 20% and there are different ways to have that funded. But that is really good news, finally someone that can see that my landlords are responsible and that we deserve justice!
So we are not fully there yet, I still need your help and support, so please do what you can and share this campaign with as many as you can! Thank you, love and blessings to you all! “
https://gofund.me/6866e09e
Tag: Loa
BREATH Yoga with Adriene
If you haven’t tried it yet I highly recommend yoga 🧘♀️🤸♀️
Adriene on YouTube has since the start of this year shared a new yoga series called BREATH. As someone who has done yoga and some meditating 😉😌 before I really enjoy this one. The practices are fun, gentle, strengthening och very cleansing for me. In my opinion this is a great way to exercise and stretch – even if you are a beginner oas well as familiar with yoga and meditation.
I will post the link to the first day video here and you can decide for yourself if this is something for you❣️
https://youtu.be/ZSIp00SewO8
A somewhat better start of the year
This evening I have seen my family’s new home and it looks really nice compared to the other one, the house that wasn’t livable or healthy! All the money they received from the donations have gone to that, paying rent and the deposit, and to buy basic furniture – BEDS! I mean imagine not having a bed?! – and small every day stuff like cutlery, glasses and plates. !! My mother has worked so hard for this and with your help and support it has been made into reality! But she is still working hard, every day and all the time. They still need help and support, especially since the municipality/county still isn’t helping them. Which is why I will share the Gofundme campaign again. And I will not stop sharing it until they have everything they need because they deserve it, like everyone deserves a proper home❣️
But I am so so grateful and happy for them, that they finally have a home to live in and to regain their health in! So thank you for the bottom of my heart to all of you who have shared and donated ❣️
Much love!✨
https://gofund.me/6866e09e
1 januari 2021
🧞♂️ Nytt år. Äntligen.
Förra året var så konstigt men samtidigt bra på flera sätt.
Jag blev så överväldigad när klockan slog tolv. Att 2020 äntligen var slut!
Nu är det ett nytt år.
Jag vill ta vara på det och ta bättre hand om mig själv. Träna, skriva & måla och fota mer. Lära mig det nederländska språket ordentligt. Jag vill känna mig stark och jag vill ha ett jobb. Spendera mer tid med bebisarna (kaninerna alltså❣️) också.
Jag vill kunna resa och hälsa på min familj hemma i Sverige också. Men till dess får vi fortsätta hålla kontakten via videosmatal ❤️
Hoppas att det blir ett bättre och lättare, ljusare år för oss alla. Ta hand om varandra och er själva. Gör saker som får er att må bra och känna er friska ❣️ Gott Nytt År och Gelukkig Nieuwjaar 🥳🙏💗
My family still needs help.
Please visit https://gofund.me/6866e09e to help them. Thank you❣️
*!Uppdatering angående min familjs situation!*
Äntligen!!!😍♥️ Jag blev så så glad när mamma berättade det här för mig idag, grät av lycka för att de äntligen har fått ett hem! Ett hem!!♥️♥️ Nu kan de leva i ett friskt, rent hem och andas bra – frisk och fräsch luft! – och få hälsan tillbaka!! Jag är också så tacksam för all den ekonomiska stöttning som mamma har fått den senaste tiden tack vare insamlingen på Gofundme, som har gjort detta möjligt och nu till verklighet ❣️ Tusen tusen tack till alla som hjälpt till, delat och stöttat♥️🙏♥️
Jag kommer fortsätta att dela insamlingen tills mamma och mina syskon har kommit helt på fötter igen och har allt de behöver, som vi andra inklusive mig själv tar för givet att ha själva som en ren självklarhet, om ni förstår vad jag menar.
Länken hittar ni här: https://gofund.me/6866e09e / https://www.gofundme.com/f/hjlp-mig-och-min-familj-slippa-hemlshet?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet
Fortsätt gärna att dela detta ni också 💗🙏💗
Tack igen och god fortsättning!!💜
Good things are coming
Though Covid still roams and we have entered a more strict and hard lockdown here in the Netherlands, good things are still coming.
My mother has received help and support from the church nearby where they live and people are donating to her campaign. I am so so grateful for the good in this world and that my family gets to receive it.
It can be easy to fall into the negative ways of thinking and feeling, especially when times are tough. Losing hope in humanity and the world is easier than most would think. But there is good in this world. It is not all through scary, evil and poisoned, though I too may both feel and think that it is. Sometimes.
When I was small I used to be so afraid of life and living only because I was afraid of death and dying. It was a crippling, paralyzing fear that ruled my mind for many years. Luckily it did not take as many years for me to come to terms with it but it still comes back to me now and then. When I get full of my emotions, the good ones, I can suddenly be overwhelmed by a fear of somehow losing it all.
Maybe it’s not so much that the world is scary but how we think and approach it in our own minds. If we choose and try to accept what is it can be easier to focus more on what makes us feel good and be grateful for what we have now.
I want to believe that the world is good and that it is with me. And these past days I have seen proof of that it is good. I love that there are people, strangers and friends alike, that gather to help and support my family.
That is the biggest proof to me that our world is good.
The people make it good when they do good.
What good can you do? What good can I do? To do something good for someone else doesn’t mean that it has to be a huge grand splendid act. It can be small, gentle and simple. It can be a phonecall to a loved one (or a text message, if you don’t like to call over the phone); a warm shower of bath for yourself; baking and sharing it with your neighbors by placing it outside their door (to keep the distance…). It can be a small donation to a cause you feel for and agree with. An act of good could also be to break up with a person who is toxic to you, regardless of what bond you two may have had. Family or not – toxic people are not worthy of you. (But remember to watch out for yourself too, in a gentle way. Observe.)
Stay safe and take care of yourself and each other. Do what you need to care for your health, physically and mentally.
If you want to donate to my family, please visit the campaign on Gofundme here. Thank you.
Journaling
Today I finished writing in a journal I’ve had for the past two years. At the beginning it was supposed to be a journal of write letters in for my – back then long distance relationship partner – but after a few months I decided to keep it for myself. I didn’t write in it everyday which is why I was able to keep it for so long.
Whenever I reach the end of a journal I get sentimental. I feel the need of ending it in the right, perfect way. So with the last few pages I put all my emotions and energy in to it and ended it the way I started, by writing to my boyfriend but also with a letter to myself.
The following hours I spent looking for another old journal of mine. It was tucked away in my boxes that I still kind of need to unpack, but that will be done when we have our own place since we don’t have space for everything in there now (but that’s alright, I don’t want to rush.)
I’ve seen people on YouTube read their old journals and oh my goodness, it is so much fun to watch those videos. I wanted to do it too – I don’t mean making a video of me reading my old thoughts, no, but I wanted to read it for myself. And I did.
I am very happy that I decided not to throw away this journal. The ones I had before this one are gone, torn apart and thrown away. But this one I told myself to save.
Reading it was a weird experience but it was fun to see what my focus was back then in 2016 and -17. Lots of anger, heartbreak and a constant search for who I was and wanted to be. Long story short: I am now exactly where I wanted to be.
What will my focus be now? To enjoy myself and my life, as much as possible. To live life to the fullest.
Lost in a rollercoaster of translation
A journalpost written over two days. First half is from 7/10 and the part below the Joey picture is from today the 8/10.
As I now live in the Netherlands it is no surprise that I have to learn their language. It is not only because because I need the skill for a job, I also want to learn how to speak and write, read and understand it.
However it takes time. A lot of time. This can sometimes be stressful and if you are like me and tend to go down the worryslide quite easily, you will understand me on a deeper level when I say that I have been feeling embarrassed because I haven’t learned more Dutch yet.
~\*O_O*/~
Wait, wait. Why do I need to be embarrassed about this?
I should be learning much faster than I am! I have lived here for almost three months now and I don’t have a job yet because I don’t know enough of the language!
Okey, okey… First of all, Moa: Caaaaaalm. Down.
From what I have understood from looking back at myself and how I learn new things, I am a person who like to learn by slow – steady – repetitive and clear tasks. However if given very clear instructions I can learn fast.. Stressing myself up makes it harder for me to take in new information. Learning is easier when it is made fun and creative.
Everyone is different when it comes to how fast we learn new things. I have been told of people who learned anew language in less than three months, to a week, to even longer and there are people who doesn’t even learn the language of their new country. So I am not perse “bad” or an embarrassment for not having mastered the Dutch language yet. I am doing fine – I could of course do more but I am doing just fine.
There are probably more reasons to why I don’t have a job yet. If we would look at it from the perspective of the LOA (law of attraction), I have been pushing the jobs away by stressing myself up about not having a job and believing that I don’t have a job because I don’t know enough Dutch.
But then there is also this Corona/Covid-19 shit which has made it more difficult for many people to get a new job or keep the job they have.
Last but not least, I can be picky sometimes buuut at the same time I love to work and to be productive, helping out comes quite naturally to me. There iss also the fact that I don’t have a car or a driver’s license yet, but with my bike I can still get myself to places.
Source: https://dutchreview.com/expat/learn-dutch/learn-dutch-fast-easy/
These days I keep telling myself that I learn fast and easy when given clear instructions with a bit of cheering from others, but have I been cheering on myself? If I only push myself to continue without making a daily or weekly planning, if there’s only do do do… And no cheer from my own self… Then it really isn’t that strange that I stress myself out.
I ought to give myself a break. My family always tells me how far I have come, how proud they are of me and how brave I am for having moved here. Why can’t I see those things in me? Or – do I refuse to see that in me?
I don’t like to admit it but I feel a bit lost sometimes. At the same time I’m bound to a rollercoasterride which I want to get out of but because I’m so scared of falling out I cling to the seat with all my might and power.
– This is usally where I would say, “Moa, your imaginary bpd is taking over,
it is time for you to calm yur titties down and breeeaaaaathee! –
Yesterday I had a brilliantly good day. I was in tune with myself and my body, balance was my focus and mother nature my cheerleader. I thought “wow, from now on things will start to get really easy for me. I’m really in the flow of things!” and similar thoughts. However TODAY I feel like a complete dead fish. I’m not unhappy but I am not happy either. *IS THIS WHAT NEUTRALITY FEELS LIKE?!* (Sorry for the sudden caps, but how else would I show off that big thought, huh?) . . . This does not have to be a bad thing. If this is a neutral mood, doesn’t that mean that I can choose exactly where to go from here? *”I’ve got the power” starts playing somewhere in the background.*
Like I said yesterday in my post about the 12 Universal Laws, (which you can read here) I find it fascinating how things come and go into my life at the absolute right time when I am completely ready to recieve and let go of it. And just like I did then during conversations I had about how I was feeling and thinking, which was to re-realise how utterly stupid and silly it is of me to beat myself up internally for “not learning fast enough” and for “not having a job yet”, I have now during my time of writing (which has taken me two days, yes t w o d a y s) re-re-realised the same thing. But in a slightly different way. How much different I cannot say but internally it makes a huge difference to me.
AND JUST LIKE THAT
I can step off from the rollercoaster of being lost in the translation, the transition and look at the stress that I had created because of this, perhaps even see that I learned something from it. What that is, I do not know. Haha yes I am kidding, I know what it is.
I have learned that I am a sensitive Moa who looks to myself to support and guidance because, believe it or not, I think I am smart and brilliant, wise and kind. I know my shit and I know what works for me, how to take care of me. Though I am sensitive I am strong, fierce and yes I am even brave. I don’t think I am brave for moving to another country, but I think I am brave for contiuing and allowing myself to start over when things get hard and difficult. I am brave because I challenge myself by looking for jobs when I don’t speak that much Dutch yet.
But,
sometimes I get snowed in on only doing the work without giving back the proper care I need.
Sometimes I forget to look at things from a different perspective and be a bit more objective about situations I am in. As an enegry healer you would think I would remember something like that allllll the time, right? But it doesn’t work like that. I’m just a normal human being like the rest of y’all.
I have also learnt, or re-learned that our thoughts and how we feel about them affects us a lot.
With this I mean that, it does not help that much to think to yourself over and over about what stresses you. For example I had been thinking about the language and jobs and how bad I was feeling for not having it done yet more than I talked about it with people. It was almost constantly on my mind though, which then would affect how I was in my body which then later would start affecting how I was being with others. In the end, no complainging would be benefitial for me. What would help is if I would turn the page around and look at it differently, ask myself what’s really going on here Moa, are you in the right headspace and where can we go from here?
In the end, the only person who can help you if yourself. I can only fix my own life by myself. How do I do that? Simple, just like how I stepped off that imaginary rollercoaster a few moments ago: byt realising my thinking and being able to choose different, more benefital thought. (Oh man, how the teachers at KADA would look at me now and say “This is what we have been trying to teach you all along” hahaha…. *erhmhm* Moving along.)
This has been a very good writing session for me even though this journalpost took two days. First half is from 7/10 and the part below the Joey picture is from today the 8/10. I think it is fun to see how my thinking has changed since I started writing and it is nice that I have realised many things, become more aware of myself, and I actually don’t feel as bad anymore. Not sure how long this neutral feeling will last but now instead of being insecure about myself and how I feel, I enjoy this mood since I now know what to do with it.
I hope you have enjoyed this peek into my mind and please don’t give me any weird comments or remarks even though you really are welcome to speak your mind with me, if you would want to. Makes sense, no? Yes. XD
Going back to the roots
This morning I have spent by reading a very interesting and refreshing blogpost regarding the 12 Universal Laws.
I find it fascinating how things always come into my life – and leave it all the same – when I am absolutely ready to receive (and let go of it.) Because for some time now I haven’t felt drawn to the spiritual aspects of my life; I didn’t want to meditate or connect with anything like it at all. I was done. Well, it was more like I needed a break. And now it seems like the break is starting to ease it self out: yesterday evening I suddenly started to feel very drawn to nature again, I had a strong need of connecting with mother earth, especially the fallen leafs of autumn.
However, going back to the spiritual stuff is not something I want to rush with. I want to take it easy instead of diving right back into it and starting up a business, which I’m not even sure if I would want to have yet. First of all I need to balance myself and what better what to do that than to go back to the roots? I think that’s the reason for why I have this urge and wanting to go back to nature, the earth and her soil and also why I found this blog.
I am not going to rewrite what the blogpost says about these 12 Universal Laws, not in this post of mine in any case. I would like to do it since I love to write and I learn and understand more as I write things down. But in this post I just wanted to write down some of my thoughts and feelings as this has been an important as well as completely neutral thing to me.
For now I will sign out from the internet and continue the way back to my roots. Haregötthäääj
a rhapsody that is life 